CHAPTER 5

It hadn’t taken long for their romance to blossom. Cass took fewer and fewer assignments so she could spend time with Beau. She’d fallen madly, insanely in love with him as well as his charming cottage. It was nestled inside a grove of aspen trees that glimmered when the sun hit them. It was easy to get lost in the whispers they emitted when the wind blew. The cottage itself was not exactly a castle, but it was comfortable, and plenty big enough for the two of them.

The creek that ran by just at the edge of the treeline, could lull you to sleep, which it did quite often. The morning glory crept all around, up and over the porch; making it appear to be a room of its own. Cass was quite impressed by some of the small touches Beau had added and wondered if perhaps another woman had once occupied this place with him. That, she decided, would be a can of worms she could not open at this time, or maybe ever.

The mornings she didn’t have to go to work, they spent out on the back lawn catching the last rays of summer. The leaves had already begun to change and the nights were getting cooler. She had grown up in a city setting her whole life and this was the first time she could really watch, really experience the seasons change up close and personal. Her parents had owned a brownstone with a rather small dismal yard. Her mother had never had much of a green thumb but did on occasion manage a few tomato plants here and there. Aside from their token vegetable garden, there were only a few patches of weeds to keep it from being completely barren. The only seasonal change she experienced while living with them revolved around watching the one giant maple tree that sat smack dab in the middle of their backyard. It would turn from green to brown in what seemed like a blink of the eye.

She often thought about her parents and what they would think of the life she’d made for herself. Sitting on that porch next to Beau, she wished they’d been around to meet him because she knew they’d love him right away just as she did, but that would never be.

~//~

She had just turned seventeen shortly before they were killed in a head on car crash just a few miles from their home. They’d gone out that fateful night in honor of their anniversary. Her mother had spent the better part of the day getting ready for ‘their date’ as she called it. She’d gotten her hair done that morning and right after that she and Cass had gone together to get manicures and pedicures. Her mother had been quite the seamstress all her life. She’d spent nearly a week on the dress she was going to wear and she looked absolutely ravishing in it. It fit her like a glove and when her dad saw it, she could see that special look in his eyes—the one reserved solely for her mom. They had asked Cass to join them but she declined on the premise that her presence would eliminate the romantic possibilities for the pair. She told them to have a good time and not to hurry back. She had big plans to watch a movie and would pick at the leftovers from the previous nights dinner. They both kissed her on the cheek right before they closed the front door behind them. She had no way of knowing that was the last time she would see them.

As planned she had eaten in front of the television. When the movie was over, she’d cleaned up her mess and stacked her dishes in the dishwater. It was about nine thirty by then and since she rarely had the house to herself, she decided to luxuriate in a nice hot bubble bath. Since they only had one bathroom that opportunity did not present itself too often and she was going to take full advantage of her time alone. She ran the water as hot as she could stand and began taking her clothes off. She heard the phone ring and she immediately looked at her watch. It had to be one of her friends because no one ever called her parents this late. She turned the water off and rushed towards the kitchen so she wouldn’t miss the call.

“Hello,” Cass said out of breath.

“Hello, my name is Officer McCaully. Do you know a Don and Lorraine Cassidy?” he asked.

“Yes, their my parents. What’s wrong? Are they okay?” Cass said.

“There’s been an accident…”

“What?” she screamed into the phone. “Are they okay?”

There was the briefest moment of silence before he responded to her.

“How old are you maam?”

“I’m seventeen.” She answered wondering why he would ask such a question.

“They’ve been taken to Lucy General Hospital,” he replied. “Do you have someone there that can take you to the hospital?” he asked.

“I don’t know…no…there’s no one here but me, I don’t drive yet,” she said.

“There’s a patrol car in your neighborhood. I’ll send them to your house and they can take you if you’d like.”

“Okay,” she said. Something in his voice told her that her life was not going to be the same again, that the news was as bad as it could be.

“Just hang tight, they should be there in about five minutes,” he said.

Cass hung up the phone and stood there frozen. She didn’t move until she heard the knock on the front door. After that everything became a blur.

The officer that drove her was very quiet all the way to the hospital. He walked her inside once they arrived and found the head nurse. She took Cass by the hand and led her to a small room down the hall. A moment later a man in a long white coat came in. She stood up as he approached her.

“I’m Dr. Metcalf. Are you a relative of the Lindley’s?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m their daughter.” She said.

“I’m sorry to tell you that your parents were killed instantly in a car crash,” he said.

The room started to swirl and go dark.

When she came to, she didn’t remember where she was. She was lying on the floor and there was a woman and a man wearing a white coat kneeling at her side.

“You’re okay, you fainted,” the nurse said. “Let’s get you up.”

As she got up from the floor it hit her like a rock. She remembered what the man had said to her, her parent’s were dead. Her throat tightened and she pushed herself away from the pair that were trying to help her. She was beginning to feel the hysteria building up inside herself.

“I want to see my parents! Where are they? I want to see them. You’re lying to me. Where are they? They just went out to dinner,” she screamed, “mom, dad…”

“We’ll take you to see them in a few moments,” the nurse said knowing that it would take them a little while to clean them up enough so it would not be so horrific to look at them.

Someone offered her a glass of water but she pushed it away. The doctor took her by the shoulders and looked her straight in the eye.

“They didn’t suffer. They went instantly,” he said as if this information would calm her somehow.

“They can’t be gone, please.” She said falling back onto the chair. “Mom.”

A few moments later a Chaplin from the hospital came into the room and rushed to her side.

“It’s going to be okay,” he said reaching out to take her hand in his. “They’ve gone to God now, their not suffering.”

She looked over at his face and then the tears came. Nothing was going to be okay ever again. How could he say such a stupid thing. She was an orphan now and she didn’t know what she was going to do.

An hour later they led her into another room. The lights had been dimmed and she saw them, both of them, lying on gurneys next to each other. The nurses had been kind enough to put bandages on their faces where the skin had been ripped open so she would not see just how badly they’d been hurt.

Cass walked over next to her mother and touched her hand. It was icy cold. She didn’t like it so she picked up her arm and tucked it neatly beneath the blanket so it would warm up. They didn’t look dead. They didn’t look sad. They just looked like they were in a peaceful sleep dreaming about how their evening had gone, their wonderful dinner, how they so enjoyed each other over the many years, how they had lived their life exactly how they’d wanted to.

She sat there for hours alternating between crying and stone cold silence. She had even tried to pretend this was just a nightmare she would soon wake up from, that someone would come and give them a shot or something and they’d spring back to life. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do next, so she waited. What exactly she was waiting for she didn’t know, but it was something to do. Finally the same nurse that had taken care of her when she’d arrived came in. She knew this was just a child here trying to deal with the worst possible scenario. She knew the police had brought her to the hospital so she was aware that she had no way home.

“I’m going to drive you home if that's okay with you," she said reaching out to take Cass’s hand. “I’m off now. Let me take you home so you get there safely. You can’t stay here all night.”

Cass was completely spent. All the tears had been cried for the moment and she was exhausted. She did want to go home. She wanted to crawl into her bed and draw the covers up over her eyes and go to sleep so that she'd be able to wake up the next morning, which was only a few hours away, and realize that this had all been just a bad dream, a nightmare.

The nurse waited patiently for her to respond. Cass got up and walked one last time over to where her parents were laid out. She brushed a strand of hair off her mother’s forehead then bent down and kissed her lips very gently. She walked around to the other side and brushed her hand across her father’s cheek, then bent down and kissed his lips as well.

“I love you, I love you both. I will always love you.” She said. “I’ll see you in heaven.”
She took one long last look at them then turned to towards the nurse. “Okay,” she said looking at this stranger in white. “I’m ready.”

They did not speak in the car other than a few directions here and there from Cass. When they pulled up in front of her house Cass looked up and saw that the lights were on inside. For a second she thought maybe she had dreamed all this and her parents were inside waiting up for her, but then she remembered that she’d left in such a rush she’d forgotten to turn them off.

“Will you be okay, would you like me to come inside,” the nurse asked.

“That’s okay, I’m okay. Thank you for the ride, it was very nice of you.” Cass said. She opened the door and got out of the car and just stood there staring at the house.

“Go inside. I’ll wait till you get inside to leave, now go on.”

Cass walked around the front of the car then started up the front steps. She’d never felt so alone in her life. She turned the knob on the front door and it turned easily. She hadn’t even locked it when she left. She was going to have to remember things like this now. Everything was going to be up to her to take care of.

She went inside, closed the door behind her and just stood there staring at the rooms in front of her. She flicked on all the light switches so there would be no dark corners. She was afraid for the first time in her life to be alone in her house. She walked through every room and turned on every light before sitting down in the kitchen on the chair next to the phone. She had to call her Aunt Jessica to let her know what had happened and to find out what she was supposed to do now.

Her Aunt and her father’s brother Thomas had shown up to take care of all the details and to take care of her. It had been a flurry of activity and by weeks end everyone was exhausted. Jessica had tried desperately to stay strong for Cass, to serve as the mother figure, to make sure that they all had something to eat, to make sure things appeared to be as normal as they could during this trying time, but Cass could hear her cry late at night. Auntie J and her mom had been very close. They talked weekly on the phone and got together as often as they could. They had been like twins separated at birth so Cass knew this was equally as devastating for her aunt. Both of their lives had been altered unequivocally. Her uncle on the other hand seemed to move on autopilot. He’d sit on the front porch, with a scotch in one hand and a cigar in the other. She knew he was filled with pain as well from the loss of his brother, but somehow he was managing it differently. He was trying to be the anchor they needed to get through this. Maybe the simple fact that he was a man made him feel like he had to appear stronger than them, but when Cass looked deep into his eyes, she could see the pain lodged just beneath the surface. She assumed that he cried when he took his little walks around the block because his eyes were always a little red when he returned.

The funeral was surreal to Cass. The two dark Mahogany caskets, both draped with cascades of white roses, sat in the front of the church. There were dozens of wreaths on stands and on the floor surrounding the dark wooden boxes that held her parents bodies. Her Aunt had found a photograph from one of their happiest vacations. They were both laughing and it was plain to see that they were very much in love. She’d it enlarged so everyone there would remember them this way—happy, beautiful, in love, and far too young to be gone from this world. Anyone who knew them would tell you, that they were the one couple they all looked towards as an example of sticking it out during the good times and the bad times. They had weathered every storm that came their way and always landed smack dab on their feet throwing a victory sign in the air telling the world that they could beat whatever came their way. That all the bad stuff could simply go to hell.

Cass stared at that picture as she tried to hold it together, because the reality was, all she wanted to do was kick and scream at how unfair all of this was. How God had let her down by taking both her parents this way. She’d been coming to this church with them since as far back as she could remember, so she wanted to know why he would do this. Why he had taken away from her the one thing that made the world right—her family? It had always felt like a safe haven here, like a place where the promise of forever seemed possible. But today, she knew that was a lie. It now became the place where she finally realized that bad things happened to good people. That nothing was written in stone. That nothing you could do could change the fate that lie ahead of you. That it only took one second took to alter everything you believed in. That life simply was not fair. Now, she wished that she had accepted their invitation. That she would have been in the car with them that night and that she would have perished with them. That way they would still be together, still be a family, only they’d all be in heaven instead of here, alone, on Crescent Street.

Being an only child, and spending most of her life around adults, had made her mature much faster than many of her friends. When her Aunt J suggested selling the house and moving in with them Cass balked. She could never leave the only place she had ever known as home. She still felt safe when she’d lie in her bed, the covers pulled up to her neck, her stuffed teddy bear clutched to her chest. She wanted to be able to wander through the house, to touch things that her mother had treasured. She wanted to smell the familiar smell of her dad’s aftershave that seemed to permeate the den where he spent most of the time hollering at the television during a ballgame. This was home, her home, and she wanted to stay put.

Thomas had done all the legal work that needed to be dealt with before he went back home. He’d talked to the lawyers and the bank’s. He’d seen to it that both their life insurance policies were in good standing so that Cass would be able to stay here on her own without worrying about money, that she could finish school and be okay on her own. The insurance had paid off the house so she stayed on and made it her own home. It had been so terribly hard at first, with all the memories of her family there, but this was all she had.

~//~

She and Beau stayed up late every night, talking and planning. It was she who came up with the idea of renovating the attic into a den. She wanted them to have a special place, with a different view, where Beau could play his saxophone and she could sit back and read and relax.
As they lay in bed one night, Beau propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her. Her skin shone like silk as the moonlight cascaded in through the window and across the bed. He long dark hair spilled over her shoulders and onto the pillow, and it reminded him that it had been far too long since he had truly felt this kind of love and been this happy. Cass sensed that he was looking at her and opened her eyes.

“Hi,” she said dreamily.

“Hi.” He tried to look a little guilty. “Sorry I forgot to wake you this afternoon. It just didn’t seem right to ruin a perfectly lazy day.” He swept the hair from her shoulder and ran his finger down her chest and stopped at her nipple, which had gotten hard at his touch. “I love you.” He gently brushed his finger back and forth across her inviting breast.

“I love you, too.” She sensed that he had more to say so she just lay there and enjoyed his caresses.

“Cassie, would you marry me?” He held his breath until she looked into his eyes, her own filling with tears.

Here it was, at long last, the question she had been waiting for all of her life. She threw her arms around his neck. She was crying and laughing at the same time.

“Oh yes! Yes, yes, yes!” Her heart was pounding.

Beau held her closer in his arms and kissed her. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’ve made my life better in every way. You made my old house and my empty heart come to life in a way I’d never expected.” He kissed away the tear on her cheek.

“There’s nothing that would make me happier than being with you for the rest of my life.” It was finally her dream come true. Her knight in shining armor had really come.

He pushed her gently back down onto the bed and stroked her breast again. He kissed her neck and slowly slid his tongue down to her nipple. He felt the heat coming from her body. She held his head to her as she felt the sensations pulse through every part of her body. As he moved on top of her, it was as though they were one, each so sensitive to the other’s rhythm. The tears rolled down her cheeks as they both met their climax. She held him on top of her for a long time. She had dreamed this moment over in her mind a thousand times since she had met him. She was going to be the wife of the most wonderful man she had ever met.