CHAPTER 16

Dinner had turned out beautiful. Everyone complained about eating too much as they always did. They moved into the living room to have coffee and drinks, while Duffy tried to entertain everyone with his silly antics. Liz and Bill, her pal Carol, and a few of Cass's other model friends chatted easily over one more glass of wine.

"I have to go girl," Carol said as she stood and stretched. "I could sit here all night but I've got an early call and if I have any more to drink, they're going to have to use putty on my face. It was really great to meet the two of you. I've heard so much about you guys, I feel like I've known you for years."

"It was nice to meet you too," Liz said. "I'm glad Cass has someone like you to keep her company and to indulge her humor once in a while."

Carol looked at the other guests and suggested they all share a cab. She knew from the look on Cass's face that she was tired so she wanted to help her make everyone leave so she could spend a little more time with her old friends since she didn't get to see them all that often.

"Come on, up and atum kids. Chop, chop!"

Cass hugged each of them at the front door as they left.

"Thanks for the invite kiddo," Carol said. "I'll see you soon."

"I'm sure you will. Thanks for coming." Cass said as she closed the door behind them.

Without the others there, the room had become very quiet.

"How about a civil glass of Brandy?"

"Sounds good to me," Bill said.

Cass retrieved three small glasses from the kitchen and poured them each a little shot. They sat quietly for a while as they watched the fire roar in the fireplace.

"When are you going to come out and visit us?" Bill asked. "Liz has been going nuts again redecorating all the same rooms she did last year."

"Hey, you knew what you were in for when you married the girl." Cass said. "Too much country air, and not enough work. You should send her in to the city more often. I'm sure I could find plenty of work for her."

"Oh no you don't! The two of you could never talk me back into that business. I should have stuck to photography," Liz retorted. "I'm quite content doing our place because the only person I have to argue with is me."

"Oh please! You were always more a set stylist than photographer." Cass said. "I've never known anyone who took more time making sure everything was absolute perfection before one snap of the lens."

"You see. You see what I have to put up with?" Bill pleaded. "You have to come visit so you can help me stop her before she puts us all in the poor house."

Even though it had been two years since Cass moved back to the city, they were very careful about how they broached the subject of a visit back to their place.

"I'm so busy right now I don't have time to do much of anything else," Cass said.

Liz decided it was time to test the waters.

"Alicia and I drove over to your house last week," Liz said hesitating to say more.

Cass looked at her. She wanted to tell her to stay away from there because it was not a happy place anymore, but instead she stood there and smiled at her friend trying to be brave.

"It could use a little of your tender loving care. Maybe you could..."

Cass raised her hand to stop her from saying anything more.

"Please Liz. I know you mean well. I hate this day. I will always hate this day and tonight especially I do not want to talk about the house." Cass said, turning away so they wouldn't see the tears that had started to fall from her eyes.

"I'm sorry Cass. I don't know what I was thinking." Liz said. "It just...I miss you. I miss you a lot. I wish you were closer, that's all."

Bill rubbed the back of Liz's neck. The elephant was in the room now. Everyone looked uncomfortable so Bill looked at his watch.

"Well, speaking of home girl, I guess we'd better make a move or it'll be morning before we get there," Bill said.

Cass hugged them both before they left. There was no promise of a visit.

She closed the door, locked it then stood there looking around the room. Seconds turned into minuted, minutes to hours. She felt paralyzed and had to finally force herself to move. She turned off the lights in the kitchen and living room and headed to her bedroom. She stopped for one brief moment and stared into the fire and watched as the last embers burned away. Her heart felt heavy. The tears that she'd managed to keep at bay were now falling freely. If she could scream the pain she felt at that moment, she might have woken the whole world. She tried to remember the details of Beau's face, the lines that etched at the side of each eye, the small scar that ran down his chin, the soft bristle of his unshaven cheeks. The vision of him was becoming fuzzy in her mind. Maybe it was too much wine, or maybe the time that had passed since he died was blurring her memory. It felt wrong. She rushed to the bedroom in a panic. She ripped open the top drawer of her dresser and dug beneath the clothes until she found what she was looking for. She took the small wooden box out of the drawer and moved to the bed before she opened it. She took out the photo of Beau. She rubber her fingers over his face wanting desperately to feel him there with her.

He had always looked the rugged outdoorsman, never too fancy except for the day of their wedding. He had wanted her to see that he could not only be a gentleman, but that he could suit up and look like one too. She set the picture down next to the box, and one by one took out the mementos of their life together. She took out the stack of love letters they has written each other when they'd started dating and set them aside. There on the bottom of the box was the envelope that contained the things the police had given her that night two years ago. She dumped the contents out onto the bed. She picked up the wallet and held it to her nose. There was still the faintest smell of his cologne on it. She set it down and took his wedding ring and slipped it on her finger. The tears were now flowing like a river as she laid down. She wanted that life back. She wanted him back. Her world had been perfect then.

It seemed like only moments had passed, but when she looked over at the beside clock she realized that two hours had slipped by. She sat up and began to put everything back inside the box. The stack of letters weighed heavy in her hand. She took the top one and set it aside then gently set the others back where they'd come from. She took Beau's picture and the letter and set them on the nightstand. She climbed into bed and pulled the covers up. Duffy jumped up onto the bed with her and began to lick the tears that were still spilling down her cheeks. She pushed him away gently. Instead she picked up the letter and slowly unfolded it.

My Dearest Cassandra,

I know it's only been two days since I last saw you, but I miss you terribly. It seems that you are my sunshine since it hasn't stopped raining since you left. Just my luck because I just started to pain the front porch. Oh well, it gives me more time to think of you.

My life and my heart have been so full since you came into it. Everything seems so easy now. Everything has new meaning, thanks to you. My little house here was so empty for so long that I though nothing good would come to it.

What I'm trying to say is that I love you and I want you to share my life with yours. If you feel the same way, then I have the solution, but I will wait till I see you next time so we can discuss it face to face.

Till then my love, stay out of the cold!
I love you,
Beau

She carefully folded the letter and set it on top of the picture. She could hear her heart beat pound in her ears. She needed to go to sleep. She rolled over and pulled Duffy to her chest and he lovingly obliged her desire to hug something.

CHAPTER 15

Cass’s agent had promised her this would be a quick shoot, but here she was, eight hours later, still straining to hold a nearly impossible pose. She shifted her weight ever so slightly, but it was just enough movement to make one of the props below her elbow give way and she fell backwards onto the floor. Everyone jumped at once.

“Holy shit!” Craig yelled as he ran towards her. He reached out his hand and Cass grabbed it, pulling herself up to her feet. “You okay Cass?”

“I’m fine. I’m sorry. I’m just a little tired I guess,” she said to hide the fact that she felt slightly embarrassed.

“We’ll call it a day then,” he said putting his arm around her shoulder. “That’s a wrap everyone. See you all bright and early tomorrow.” Still holding her hand, Craig walked with her over to the dressing room. “Are you sure you’re okay, you didn’t hurt anything?”

“Just my pride, that’s all. I guess I must be getting old or something.” With that, she turned and went inside the dressing room. Once the door closed she went and sat in front of the huge mirror and began removing the priceless jewelry that they’d been photographing. She set each piece back into its appropriate case. A moment later there was a knock at the door. She knew it would be the security guards they’d sent from Tiffany’s to escort their precious jewels back to the store. She got up, opened the door and let them in. They inspected each piece before putting the boxes back into the metal lock box, and as quickly as they came, so they went.

Slowly, like a ritual well practiced, she undid the garters that held the red silk stockings up. They slid down to her toes and she pulled them off. She picked up the robe she always bough with her and slipped it on. The lushness of the couch in the room beckoned her attention. She needed to relax for a moment or two before heading back out to the lights and sounds of the city. She crossed the tiny room then lay back and closed her eyes. Five minutes later she heard another knock on the door.

“Come in,” she said.

“You up for a drink or some dinner tonight?” Craig asked.

“Thanks, but not tonight. I’m pooped as they say.” She already had plans but didn’t want to get into that with him. Besides that, she did not want to be involved on any other level with Craig outside of their working together. “I’ve got a date with my bathtub and a good book tonight.”

“Need someone to wash your back?” He asked.

“You’re a dirty old man Craig. I don’t know why I keep subjecting myself to you like this,” she said smiling.

“Because you love me, that’s why.”

“Who says?” Cass said as she tossed the little pillow that had been on the couch beside her at him.

“Well, if you change your mind, about dinner that is, I’ll be over at Bascall’s.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Have fun.” She said as he closed the door. She got up, dressed in her street clothes, threw all her things into the backpack she brought, then left the studio. She could just make the next train is she hustled.



She had been lost in thought until the jolt of the train suddenly stopping brought her out of her reverie. She looked through the window to see the name of the station, then grabbed her backpack and moved with the crowd out onto the platform. Today, especially, she needed the people, the crowds, the excitement, the energy and the dinner she had planned for a few of her friends. She needed to keep her thoughts focused today. Somehow, for the last two years, each time this day rolled around, the day the police car pulled up in front of her house, her heart broke all over again. Today would mark the second anniversary of Beau's death. She shook those thoughts from her mind and headed for the exit. Outside it had begun to gently snow. She pulled her collar up and headed up town towards her place.

There were two stops to make on her way home, one to pick up flowers and the other to pick up wine. Everything else had been prepared ahead of time. As she entered the liquor store, Jerry, who was a fixture in the comminity was standing behind the counter.

"Ah, my beauty, you are right on time." He reached across the counter and took her hand in his. He raised it to his lips and kissed the back of it tenderly. He had been madly in love with her from the first time she walked in the door a year or so ago. He'd recognized her from the many billboards and magazine covers that showed her as everything from the girl next door to super model of the year. He'd felt his heart skip a beat as she asked him about certain wines. She had treated him very kindly, almost fatherly, and whenever she had come in since, his day felt brightened. "Here are the wines you ordered," he said handing them to her so she could check the lable, "and here is a special one from me, on the house of course. Maybe some day you will drink wine with a silly old man like me."

"This looks like some pretty great stuff," she said handing him her credit card. "Maybe one night, I'll stop in right around closing and take you up on that." She smiled when she saw him blush. He'd probably tried that line a million times before with no takers.

"Anytime. My door is always open to you." He put her things into a bag and slid it across the counter. "Now you should go, you have company coming, no?"

"Yes I do. Thanks Jerry. I'll drink a toast to you tonight. See you soon," she said picking up the bag.

Jerry watched her as she walked out of his shop, then he wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"Bella, bella, bella!" he whispered.


She made her way carefully through the snow that had begun piling up on the sidewalk. The flowers she held bundled in her arm were a sharp contrast to the smell of rush hour traffice and city air. It made it seem as though spring had played a trick on winter and was allowing a glimpse of what was to come. She weaved her way in between the throngs of people crossing the street. Everyone kept their eyes straight ahead as though it would protect them from having to make any kind of contact with anyone passing by.

Cass had grown fond of one of the bag ladies that she saw every day on her way home, and always had a couple of dollars tucked into the pocket of her jeans. She wasn't exactly sure why she liked her, she just knew that she did. It had taken her a couple of days to warm up to this little old gray haired, haggard looking, brusque and sometimes rude woman. When she handed her the cash, she would just snatch it out of Cass's hand and count it right in front of her. You could almost see her body language change as she lifted her head to look at Cass, a big toothless smile worn in place of an actual verbal thank you. They both knew the routine now, but today Cass's mind was elsewhere as she rushed right past the old woman.

"Hey lady!" the old woman called out to her but Cass kept moving. She was running out of time and she promised herself to make it up to her tomorrow. Maybe she would even fix her a plate of food if there were any dinner leftovers.

She took the steps two at a time up to the front door of the building she lived in. She only had a few hours now before her guests arrived and she wanted to take a nice hot bath. If she hurried, she would have everything ready and would be able to use the last hour to relax. As always, Duffy gave her a warm welcome. He followed her into the kitchen where she put her packages down and then scooped him up into her arms.

"Hello, my baby. Did you behave today?"

He responded by lavishing her with kisses all over her face as she continued to speak to him in soothing tones. She carried him into the bedroom with her and set him on the bed. They both knew what that meant. This was playtime now and Cass grabbed at his front paws. He jumped back and forth then pounce on her when she threw herself down on the bed. "Did you have a boring day? Need me to rough you up a little?" she said rolling him over onto his back. He tried to get up but she held him down and rubbed his belly. "Oh. I see, you just needed a little lovin huh?" She picked him again and snuggled him to her chest and continued to pet him. He stretched his short little neck up as far as he could and gave her yet another kiss on the cheek. "I know, I love you too, but for now, we have things to do, okay?" She set him down again, then changed into some old sweat clothes before heading back to the kitchen.

She did a mental check list of the table to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything. She'd always used the same trick her mother had used. Do ahead of time what you know you won't have time to do, nor the desire to do on the day of the dinner, so she'd set the table the previous night. Everything seemed to be in order. She took the flowers she'd bought and put them in the vase in the center of the table. She put the wine in the fridge to chill, and after throwing several cloves of garlic and few other spice in the pan, she put the small roast in the oven and turned it on. Now, she could take a nice hot bath.


The apartment had taken her months to find. She'd seen everything from one end of town to the other. Most were just too much of this or too little of that, but when she walked into this one, she knew right away that this was it. She could tell its previous owner was a woman by the soft muted rose-colored material on the walls and the winter white woodwork. The living room had a wall of windows that overlooked the park, and the kitchen, although not very big, was roomy enough for a single person. The bathroom was the deal sealer, it was really what sold her on the place. The soft rose walls continued into this room as well, and the tub, which was oversized, was framed by beautiful black granite. Although a shocking contrast at first, it beckoned to be used. It was almost a world unto itself. The master bedroom was a little like entering a childhood dream. Everything was soft white, with beautiful french lace curtains covering another large bank of windows. She would also have a fabulous view each morning when she woke up. The closet was closed off with lace covered French doors, and when she looked inside, she was delighted by the amount of room it had and how organized it would keep her. It was perfect. She knew she and Duffy would be quite happy here. She loved the views, the location, and she knew Duffy would love the park right outside their door. She'd signed the lease immediately before anyone else had a chance to see it because a place like this wouldn't last more than a day on the market. Timing was everything in this city.

She had moved in a few days later. There were only a few things to be moved in because all she was bringing back to the city with her was their bed and the old pine dresser they'd found behind someones barn. It had taken a little work but once they refinished it, it had looked brand new. The quilt, which she had made herself, was coming as well. Beau had said she was crazy to take on such a time consuming project, but she persevered. She hand stitched the entire thing each night when they settled down to catch up on their television shows. Beau had teased her relentlessly and kept telling her it would have been much quicker and easier to just buy one. But in the end, when all was said and done, he'd thought it quite the masterpiece and they'd made love on it the first night she'd put it on the bed.


She sank deep into the tub and closed her eyes. He body began to relax and she could feel the strains of the day slowly dissipate. Duffy lay on the carpet beside the tub waiting patiently. She tried to ignore the tears running down her cheeks. She still could not figure out why her happiness had been wiped out far too soon. How could her world have fallen apart like that? She had only been twenty-four, and Beau, her beautiful Beau, had only been twenty-six.

Her hand unconsciously rubbed across her belly as she tried to push the thought of the baby they might have had out of her mind. Once again, it was almost too much to bear. The alarm rang out in the bedroom saving her from any more of her thoughts. Duffy jumped out of the way as she got out of the tub. He hated even a drop of water on his furry little body. She wrapped herself in the big fluffy white towel, one of her big indulgences after leasing the apartment, and went to get dressed. She'd chosen a blue silk shirt and white jeans, and left her hair in the ponytail. She put on just a hint of makeup and her diamond studs. She was ready to go now and headed back to the kitchen. She checked the oven, added a little more stock, then grabbed Duffy's leash from the hook by the door. She had just enough time to take him over to the park for a short walk.

CHAPTER 14

Everyone that knew the two of them attended the funeral. Their friends, family, some of the people from Cass’s agency, and most all the people they knew in town showed up on this dreary, rainy day to bury Beau. Bill stood next to Cass with his arm supporting her. Liz was on her other side but was far too emotional herself to offer much help to her friend. Perhaps it was post-natal blues, but she found it hard to keep herself in control.

Cass stood like a zombie. Her heart had been wreched right out of her body. The quiet tears streamed down her cheeks and mixed with the rain. Her dreams had all come to a halt right here in this moment. All the plans she’d made for the rest of her life were changed by that one careless moment when a total stranger stopped paying attention to the road. She couldn’t help thinking about the baby she was carrying. Beau hadn’t even know that he was to be a father.

She hadn’t told anyone about the baby yet, not even Liz. It was far too painful to even think about it. Her future was too unsure now. All bets were off.

Bill and Liz drove her back to the house. It looked different to Cass as they pulled into the driveway. Beau’s car was not there, and she remembered that they had towed it to the scrap yard after the accident. It didn’t seem real.

She got out of the car and looked back down the road they had just traveled. There was nothing but empty ashphalt. She stood frozen, waiting, as if she were expecting someone. Liz came to her side and took her hand.

“Come on honey, let’s go inside.” She led her to the front stairs. Bill opened the front door and Duffy came bounding out of the house and began barking. He ran down the stairs and ran circles around Cass’s feet. She stepped past him, almost unaware of his presence, and went inside. He stopped barking and followed them inside. Sensing something was wrong, he went to lie on his cushion next to the fireplace. Neither Bill nor Liz were sure of what to do next. “I’ll make some tea, okay?”

Cass excused herself and went up the stairs to their newly finished den and closed the door. She didn’t really know what she wanted, but she knew that she didn’t want company. She wanted complete silence. She wanted to be alone. There was no time like the present to get used to the feeling of being alone. She was going to be alone for a very long time, that much she was sure of.

She sat down on the couch and closed her eyes for a moment. She could still feel him in this room. She could still smell him. He’d spent so much time in here his scent seemed to be embedded into everything.

Liz knocked gently on the door before coming in. Cass watched her as she set the cup of tea down on the table next to the sofa.

“Drink this Cass. It’ll help,” Liz said.

“No, it won’t help. Nothing will help,” she said. “You guys need to go home now. I’ll be alright.”

“I don’t want to leave you alone,” Liz replied.

“Please, just go home Liz, I’m going to sleep for a while. I’ll be okay. Go take care of Joey, she needs you.”

“You call me if you need anything, okay, day or night, whenever,” Liz said, then slowly made her way towards the door. She turned one last time to look at her friend. “You will be okay Cass, we’ll make sure of that. Call me later after you wake up. Please.” She didn’t close the door all the way because she knew Duffy would eventually make his way up here. But Liz never left. She couldn’t. If there were ever a time she needed to be here for her friend it was now. She’d sent Bill home to take care of their daughter, then set up camp in Cass’s guest room. She would sleep here, she needed to be here, just in case.


At the hospital, they had given Cass a large brown envelope that held Beau’s personal belongings. She had dumped out the contents onto the table the day before the funeral. There wasn’t really much there, just his wallet, cell phone, his watch, some loose change from his pocket, and his wedding band. She’d taken his wedding ring to the funeral home because she wanted him to be wearing it. She wanted him to still feel a small piece of her on the journey he was about to take.

She reached over and picked up his wallet. The leather had worn old around the edges. She raised it to her nose and inhaled deeply. She could still smell him. She lay back on the couch, the wallet still clutched in her hand, then pulled the blanket over top of her. She closed her eyes and slowly drifted into a deep dark sleep.

Sometime later, in the hours where only the moon lit the sky, the cramps gripped her tired aching body. She tried to sit up, but found she could barely move. Her hands instinctively went to her stomach. She reached down to the warmth she felt below her and felt something wet and sticky. She began to moan, “no, no, no…” She didn’t think there could be a pain worse than losing your husband, but this new horror was topping that. She felt the panic rise in her throat. She tried to reach for the phone but ended up knocking it off the table just out of her reach.

“Nooooo…” she screamed. Her voice filled the house. Duffy, having been woke from his sound sleep, began to bark like a mad dog.

Liz sprang from the bed and rushed up the stairs to where Cass was. She could hear Cass sobbing when she entered the room. When she switched on the light she froze. Cass was sitting in a pool of blood.

“Oh my God. Cass, what happened?” she said as she rushed to her side.

“The baby…” Cass whimpered. “The baby!”

Liz understood now what was happening. She tried to push the hair away that had fallen over Cass’s face, but Cass slapped her hand away.

“Oh God, please, please. Liz help me, do something. I can’t…” was all Cass could manage as the pain ripped through her again.

Liz knew she’d never be able to get Cass into the car on her own so she rushed downstairs to get the number for the town doctor. He worked from his home so he could be here in less than ten minutes. Her relief was obvious as she heard his voice telling her what she could do until he got there.

She grabbed several towels from the linen closet and ran back up the stairs. She pulled the blanket away and gently pushed Cass back down on to her back. She lifted the nightgown, then spread Cass’s legs so she could place a towel there to staunch the flow of blood.

“The doctor’s on his way girl. Try not to move okay?”

For the first time in forever, Liz was at a loss for words. There really was nothing she could say to her friend that would make sense or make this nightmare end. So she did what she did for her daughter when she was distraught. She sat next to Cass, holding her hand as they waited for the doctor.

“It was all I had left,” Cass whispered as she stared at Liz. “He didn’t even know. I didn’t even have a chance to tell him.”

Liz leaned down and wrapped her arms around Cass and rocked her back and forth.

“I’m so sorry…..I’m so sorry.” There wasn’t much else to say.

CHAPTER 13

Beau practiced nightly in their newly built room. Cass had set up a table in one corner so she could work on her painted ceramics or whatever craft she was newly into and would laugh as he tried to play certain songs for her. Occasionally she would try to make up words to some of the things he’d play and they always ended up having a good laugh.

He would often snap photos of her at home relaxing and would threaten to send them to her agent if she didn’t stop making fun of his playing. Here she was, one of the most beautiful women in the world, one that had graced nearly every magazine cover out there, every fashion layout, every big show in New York, yet at home she was usually dressed in baggy sweats that seemed to be covered in more glue than most of her crafts. She wore no makeup, her hair was usually pulled back into a ponytail or piled on top of her head with a pencil holding it in place. Beau still found it hard to believe that she was here, with him, that she was his to have and to hold. Often times he found himself wondering how she could have fallen in love with someone as simple as a construction contractor. A guy who was dirty most of the time, hands like sandpaper, unshaven half the time. He never could see what she saw in him, but when she looked at him, he felt her love down to his very core. She loved him with everything she had.

Today she had gotten a call from her doctor’s office. They were calling to let her know that her suspicion was correct, that indeed she was pregnant again. She hadn’t expected it to happen so soon after the miscarriage, but she was more than thrilled. She hung up the phone and twirled around in delight. She picked up Duffy and danced around the room with him. Though he didn’t understand the sudden attention, he adored every moment of it. She set him down and went into the kitchen and threw open the cupboards doors. She took out their good dishes and began to set the table, this time in the dining room instead of the kitchen. Tonight would be a very special dinner, and afterwards when they were comfortably settled in front of the fireplace, she’d tell him the news. She would tell him about their baby.

The house was filled with the smell of pot roast and potatoes. She’d picked roses from the garden and filled several vases, one of which she’d set on the dinning table. Everything was perfect. She’d showered and taken the time to do her hair and makeup and had even opted for a dress instead of her usual casual at home attire. She checked the oven and then turned it dow a little. She checked her watch and realized how late it was getting. She knew Beau was on his way home, because she’d called his office and they said he had left some time ago. She assumed he had stopped along the way to take care of an errand or pick something up at the grocery store, something he often did on his way home.

Another hour passed and still there was no sign of him. She’d tried to reach him several times on his cell phone but it kept going directly to his voice mail. She couldn’t shake this strange feeling in the pit of her stomach as each minute ticked by. She picked up Duffy and stroked his head. She went outside and looked down the road but there was nothing there. Duffy too sensed something and was becoming more restless. Beau usually took him for a short walk as soon as he got home, but that time had come and gone today. A moment later, Duffy began to bark and jumped from her arms. Finally, she thought to herself. She darted back inside, lit all the candles, and then dimmed all the lights. Everything looked perfect. She took one last look at herself in the mirror by the front door before stepping back outside.

“What the hell’s wrong with you tonight?”

The dog continued to bark, and that’s when she realized it couldn’t be Beau because the dog knew the sound of his car and usually stood in quiet excitement, not on alert like he was now. It was too dark by the road to see who was coming at this late hour. As the car left the road and headed up her driveway, Duffy’s bark turned into a growl. Her heart skipped several beats when she realized it was a police cruiser. Maybe Beau had broken down and they had offered him a ride. Rural police often broke protocol when they were not working under a microscope like those who patrolled the big cities. She started down the stairs and headed towards the cruiser. Why wasn’t the passenger door opening she thought. Where was Beau? If he wasn’t in the car, why the hell were the police in her driveway.

The driver’s door opened and the officer got out of the car slowly. Cass topped dead in her tracks. As the officer slowly stepped towards her, his eyes cast towards the ground, Cass felt the first pang of terror. When he was directly in front of her he looked straight into her eyes. She saw the sadness written on his face and she knew, right then, that whatever he was about to say, whatever news he’d come to deliver, was going to change the rest of her life. The officer took a deep breath.

“Are you Mrs. Foster? Cassandra Foster?”

She tried to reply but her throat was as dry as the Sahara Desert. All she could do to acknowledge his question was to nod her head.

“Wife of Beau Foster?”

She nodded again. In all the years he’d been on the force, this part never got easier. He shifted uncomfortably, took another deep breath, then reached out to touch her arm.

“I’ve very sorry Mrs. Foster. Your husband was involved in a traffic accident about two hours ago.”

“Oh my God,” Cass said turning towards the house so she could get her car key’s. But the officer grabbed her, stopped her so he could deliver the rest of what he’d come to tell her.

“I’m sorry, he was killed in the accident. Someone crossed the center divider and crashed head on into him. The paramedics did everything they could to revive him.”

Cass stood there motionless for a second as the information, the verbal blow struck her right in the center of her heart. The last thing she heard was the sound of her own voice screaming against the darkness that was setting in.

She didn’t know where she was when her eyes opened, all she knew was that she was not comfortable. Something was digging into her side, something like a rock. She felt foggy, like someone had drugged her. Her body felt heavy and as she tried to sit up she felt someone’s hand push her back down.

“Just lay here for a minute,” the office said.

Then it hit her again. The wave of fear and panic, and pain spread like a wildfire that was out of control. The sick feeling in her stomach exploded and she threw up. Duffy began to bark again.

“Let me help you up,” the officer said as he gently lifted her up off the driveway. He put one of her arms over his shoulder then slid his arm around her waist so he could help her walk back inside the house. He led her to the couch and gently lowered her onto it.

“Is there someone I can call, someone that can come and be with you right now?”
She raised her eyes to look at him, to see if he was really there. To confirm that this was not just a nightmare she’d be relieved to wake up from.

“I…he’s dead…are you…? No, no no no no…” As her tears fell, she started to rock like a baby, searching desperately for something, some kind of comfort, something to make this not real. “Oh my God. Where is he? Where did they take him?”

“They took him to Center Valley Hospital, but I don’t think you should go there, at least not on your own.”

“I need to call someone…I need to call Liz.”

He turned and saw the phone on the counter. He went over, picked it up, then went back to her and handed her the phone. She hit one button and slowly put the phone to her ear.

“Liz……” was all she could manage before the phone slid from her hand. She began to sob. The officer could hear whoever was on the other end of the phone screaming out Cass’s name. He picked it up and introduced himself. He took a few steps away from Cass then turned his back to her as he quickly and quietly explained what had happened. A moment later he set the phone back in it’s cradle, then went to sit next to Cass on the sofa.

“Your friends are on their way. I’ll stay until they get here.”