CHAPTER 15

Cass’s agent had promised her this would be a quick shoot, but here she was, eight hours later, still straining to hold a nearly impossible pose. She shifted her weight ever so slightly, but it was just enough movement to make one of the props below her elbow give way and she fell backwards onto the floor. Everyone jumped at once.

“Holy shit!” Craig yelled as he ran towards her. He reached out his hand and Cass grabbed it, pulling herself up to her feet. “You okay Cass?”

“I’m fine. I’m sorry. I’m just a little tired I guess,” she said to hide the fact that she felt slightly embarrassed.

“We’ll call it a day then,” he said putting his arm around her shoulder. “That’s a wrap everyone. See you all bright and early tomorrow.” Still holding her hand, Craig walked with her over to the dressing room. “Are you sure you’re okay, you didn’t hurt anything?”

“Just my pride, that’s all. I guess I must be getting old or something.” With that, she turned and went inside the dressing room. Once the door closed she went and sat in front of the huge mirror and began removing the priceless jewelry that they’d been photographing. She set each piece back into its appropriate case. A moment later there was a knock at the door. She knew it would be the security guards they’d sent from Tiffany’s to escort their precious jewels back to the store. She got up, opened the door and let them in. They inspected each piece before putting the boxes back into the metal lock box, and as quickly as they came, so they went.

Slowly, like a ritual well practiced, she undid the garters that held the red silk stockings up. They slid down to her toes and she pulled them off. She picked up the robe she always bough with her and slipped it on. The lushness of the couch in the room beckoned her attention. She needed to relax for a moment or two before heading back out to the lights and sounds of the city. She crossed the tiny room then lay back and closed her eyes. Five minutes later she heard another knock on the door.

“Come in,” she said.

“You up for a drink or some dinner tonight?” Craig asked.

“Thanks, but not tonight. I’m pooped as they say.” She already had plans but didn’t want to get into that with him. Besides that, she did not want to be involved on any other level with Craig outside of their working together. “I’ve got a date with my bathtub and a good book tonight.”

“Need someone to wash your back?” He asked.

“You’re a dirty old man Craig. I don’t know why I keep subjecting myself to you like this,” she said smiling.

“Because you love me, that’s why.”

“Who says?” Cass said as she tossed the little pillow that had been on the couch beside her at him.

“Well, if you change your mind, about dinner that is, I’ll be over at Bascall’s.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Have fun.” She said as he closed the door. She got up, dressed in her street clothes, threw all her things into the backpack she brought, then left the studio. She could just make the next train is she hustled.



She had been lost in thought until the jolt of the train suddenly stopping brought her out of her reverie. She looked through the window to see the name of the station, then grabbed her backpack and moved with the crowd out onto the platform. Today, especially, she needed the people, the crowds, the excitement, the energy and the dinner she had planned for a few of her friends. She needed to keep her thoughts focused today. Somehow, for the last two years, each time this day rolled around, the day the police car pulled up in front of her house, her heart broke all over again. Today would mark the second anniversary of Beau's death. She shook those thoughts from her mind and headed for the exit. Outside it had begun to gently snow. She pulled her collar up and headed up town towards her place.

There were two stops to make on her way home, one to pick up flowers and the other to pick up wine. Everything else had been prepared ahead of time. As she entered the liquor store, Jerry, who was a fixture in the comminity was standing behind the counter.

"Ah, my beauty, you are right on time." He reached across the counter and took her hand in his. He raised it to his lips and kissed the back of it tenderly. He had been madly in love with her from the first time she walked in the door a year or so ago. He'd recognized her from the many billboards and magazine covers that showed her as everything from the girl next door to super model of the year. He'd felt his heart skip a beat as she asked him about certain wines. She had treated him very kindly, almost fatherly, and whenever she had come in since, his day felt brightened. "Here are the wines you ordered," he said handing them to her so she could check the lable, "and here is a special one from me, on the house of course. Maybe some day you will drink wine with a silly old man like me."

"This looks like some pretty great stuff," she said handing him her credit card. "Maybe one night, I'll stop in right around closing and take you up on that." She smiled when she saw him blush. He'd probably tried that line a million times before with no takers.

"Anytime. My door is always open to you." He put her things into a bag and slid it across the counter. "Now you should go, you have company coming, no?"

"Yes I do. Thanks Jerry. I'll drink a toast to you tonight. See you soon," she said picking up the bag.

Jerry watched her as she walked out of his shop, then he wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"Bella, bella, bella!" he whispered.


She made her way carefully through the snow that had begun piling up on the sidewalk. The flowers she held bundled in her arm were a sharp contrast to the smell of rush hour traffice and city air. It made it seem as though spring had played a trick on winter and was allowing a glimpse of what was to come. She weaved her way in between the throngs of people crossing the street. Everyone kept their eyes straight ahead as though it would protect them from having to make any kind of contact with anyone passing by.

Cass had grown fond of one of the bag ladies that she saw every day on her way home, and always had a couple of dollars tucked into the pocket of her jeans. She wasn't exactly sure why she liked her, she just knew that she did. It had taken her a couple of days to warm up to this little old gray haired, haggard looking, brusque and sometimes rude woman. When she handed her the cash, she would just snatch it out of Cass's hand and count it right in front of her. You could almost see her body language change as she lifted her head to look at Cass, a big toothless smile worn in place of an actual verbal thank you. They both knew the routine now, but today Cass's mind was elsewhere as she rushed right past the old woman.

"Hey lady!" the old woman called out to her but Cass kept moving. She was running out of time and she promised herself to make it up to her tomorrow. Maybe she would even fix her a plate of food if there were any dinner leftovers.

She took the steps two at a time up to the front door of the building she lived in. She only had a few hours now before her guests arrived and she wanted to take a nice hot bath. If she hurried, she would have everything ready and would be able to use the last hour to relax. As always, Duffy gave her a warm welcome. He followed her into the kitchen where she put her packages down and then scooped him up into her arms.

"Hello, my baby. Did you behave today?"

He responded by lavishing her with kisses all over her face as she continued to speak to him in soothing tones. She carried him into the bedroom with her and set him on the bed. They both knew what that meant. This was playtime now and Cass grabbed at his front paws. He jumped back and forth then pounce on her when she threw herself down on the bed. "Did you have a boring day? Need me to rough you up a little?" she said rolling him over onto his back. He tried to get up but she held him down and rubbed his belly. "Oh. I see, you just needed a little lovin huh?" She picked him again and snuggled him to her chest and continued to pet him. He stretched his short little neck up as far as he could and gave her yet another kiss on the cheek. "I know, I love you too, but for now, we have things to do, okay?" She set him down again, then changed into some old sweat clothes before heading back to the kitchen.

She did a mental check list of the table to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything. She'd always used the same trick her mother had used. Do ahead of time what you know you won't have time to do, nor the desire to do on the day of the dinner, so she'd set the table the previous night. Everything seemed to be in order. She took the flowers she'd bought and put them in the vase in the center of the table. She put the wine in the fridge to chill, and after throwing several cloves of garlic and few other spice in the pan, she put the small roast in the oven and turned it on. Now, she could take a nice hot bath.


The apartment had taken her months to find. She'd seen everything from one end of town to the other. Most were just too much of this or too little of that, but when she walked into this one, she knew right away that this was it. She could tell its previous owner was a woman by the soft muted rose-colored material on the walls and the winter white woodwork. The living room had a wall of windows that overlooked the park, and the kitchen, although not very big, was roomy enough for a single person. The bathroom was the deal sealer, it was really what sold her on the place. The soft rose walls continued into this room as well, and the tub, which was oversized, was framed by beautiful black granite. Although a shocking contrast at first, it beckoned to be used. It was almost a world unto itself. The master bedroom was a little like entering a childhood dream. Everything was soft white, with beautiful french lace curtains covering another large bank of windows. She would also have a fabulous view each morning when she woke up. The closet was closed off with lace covered French doors, and when she looked inside, she was delighted by the amount of room it had and how organized it would keep her. It was perfect. She knew she and Duffy would be quite happy here. She loved the views, the location, and she knew Duffy would love the park right outside their door. She'd signed the lease immediately before anyone else had a chance to see it because a place like this wouldn't last more than a day on the market. Timing was everything in this city.

She had moved in a few days later. There were only a few things to be moved in because all she was bringing back to the city with her was their bed and the old pine dresser they'd found behind someones barn. It had taken a little work but once they refinished it, it had looked brand new. The quilt, which she had made herself, was coming as well. Beau had said she was crazy to take on such a time consuming project, but she persevered. She hand stitched the entire thing each night when they settled down to catch up on their television shows. Beau had teased her relentlessly and kept telling her it would have been much quicker and easier to just buy one. But in the end, when all was said and done, he'd thought it quite the masterpiece and they'd made love on it the first night she'd put it on the bed.


She sank deep into the tub and closed her eyes. He body began to relax and she could feel the strains of the day slowly dissipate. Duffy lay on the carpet beside the tub waiting patiently. She tried to ignore the tears running down her cheeks. She still could not figure out why her happiness had been wiped out far too soon. How could her world have fallen apart like that? She had only been twenty-four, and Beau, her beautiful Beau, had only been twenty-six.

Her hand unconsciously rubbed across her belly as she tried to push the thought of the baby they might have had out of her mind. Once again, it was almost too much to bear. The alarm rang out in the bedroom saving her from any more of her thoughts. Duffy jumped out of the way as she got out of the tub. He hated even a drop of water on his furry little body. She wrapped herself in the big fluffy white towel, one of her big indulgences after leasing the apartment, and went to get dressed. She'd chosen a blue silk shirt and white jeans, and left her hair in the ponytail. She put on just a hint of makeup and her diamond studs. She was ready to go now and headed back to the kitchen. She checked the oven, added a little more stock, then grabbed Duffy's leash from the hook by the door. She had just enough time to take him over to the park for a short walk.